What is it that changes… Does the amount of pain you go through decreases as time passes by or do you learn to mask it as time passes… People say time is the best healer, i wish we could measure this healing, in a number of minutes, hours, days, months … or couple of years..or until our last breath, but with a loss like this… time does no justice. Loosing ma, 2 years ago… is still something difficult to get over… and then loosing bhai… sometimes I just catch myself staring into a blank space asking… why did he have to go soon? where has he just disappeared? Why are things around us so unpredictable, Why him, Why Us? And the truth is … you are never going to find out WHY ?
I think the only thing we learn as we move on in life, let me correct … drag on in life without our loved ones beside us is that we learn to MASK our pain. We no longer show our vulnerable side to the world , the side that wants to scream out loud, the side that wants to cry, the side that wants to release all the pent up emotions, the side that wants to rip the hair apart, the side that is so so helpless, the side that wants to go back in time and bring the person back… All we can do is , we learn to mask this pain. MASK it with the fakeness, MASK it with things that give us temporary relief from our pain, MASK it with buying new things that make us happy for a while, MASK it with going to places that reminds us of them, MASK it with people, friends, relatives, soulmates who are there with us for a brief period of time, only to know that when these reasons disappear… what creeps back into our lives is darkness, anxiety, fear, pain, depression, helplessness and a sinking feeling that will only keep pulling you down…
i've learnt that ...we never get over the pain, we never move on… We just learn to MASK it!
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